How to Give Up Things That No Longer Serve You

There’s so much “advice” out there right now about what you should be doing during this quarantine. Languages you should learn. Workouts you should complete. Productivity levels you should be achieving... But what about the things you “should” be giving up? You know, the little nagging things that cause you daily anxiety, or that bog you down and keep negative thoughts in your mind. The things that ultimately keep you from achieving your goals.

That’s what I want to explore here - giving up those things. The things that no longer serve you, that you don’t want to feel, or ever do again. The things that keep you from doing what you love to do. There are so many things that allow us to grow and create happiness - and that is what we want to experience more.

So here’s an exercise you can do right now:

I challenge you to get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. (Seriously do this - don’t put it off until later.)

On the left side, make a list of things that you’ve had enough of doing in this lifetime. (For example: you dislike grocery shopping, so you found a service to consolidate your list and deliver groceries to you weekly. You are not sad that you no longer go to the store. You’re completely content having groceries delivered and ordering online. Other examples could include drinking or eating too much, dieting or undereating, binge-watching TV series, stressing out over holidays, etc.)

Keep in mind that not all experiences that do not serve us are negative experiences - many are just experiences that no longer serve us. You have done enough of these things in your lifetime and have no need to experience them anymore.

This is not meant to deprive you, but to complete you.

Now on the right side of that list, make a list of things that you would like to experience more of. (Using our grocery store example, you are excited to be more productive with your free time not at the store. Or, you’re now done with drinking too much and are excited about waking up and enjoying early mornings. You’re done with over or undereating and you now feel excitement and joy for parties and get-togethers. Instead of spending time with TV you’re spending time enjoying what you love to do. You are done stressing over the holidays and are excited to enjoy the time with loved ones.)

What are the trends you notice on the right side versus the left? Are the things you want to do often overtaken by the things that no longer serve you?

Now that you have answers - it’s time to make the action plan.

For each thing that doesn’t serve you on the left side, write down one way you’re going to give it up. This is a process, and not something that can be done overnight. Often times, we notice these are our bad habits; focusing more externally than internally, or not spending enough time focusing on what we love versus what we have to do.

For each item listed on the right side, write down one way you’re going to focus on it. Increase frequency or time. These are often the things we procrastinate or “don’t have time for,” when in reality, we just needed to make the time. Focusing more on this side of your list will visibly change your attitude and mentality.

I implore you to complete this exercise and take one step every single day to releasing what doesn’t serve you. Empower yourself to make the changes, and revel in the revitalized energy and passion you receive by simply giving up the negatives.